


In sickness and in health

by Evilsnotbag



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body pains, Cramps, Depression, Drawing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Illustration, Menstruation, More angst, NSFW, Picture, References to Depression, Shower Sex, Smut, bellow diamond - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 04:37:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilsnotbag/pseuds/Evilsnotbag
Summary: An angsty, hurt/comfort Bellow Diamond human AU one shot, with naughty bits. Did I mention angst? Lots of that. Also periods, because it's me.In this AU Blue and Yellow are married, and are both in their late thirties.





	In sickness and in health

**Author's Note:**

> A Bellow Diamond one shot I started writing on a bad day, that then helped me get through a worse day.

Blue awoke slowly, drifting reluctantly into consciousness from the fitful embrace of a dark, dreamless sleep.

A weary sigh escaped her chapped lips. She didn't feel like getting up. She didn't feel like anything.

Today, her back ached. A cold hand squeezed the join of her spine and pelvis, and at the same time, it felt like a plank of wood had been nailed across her lower back.

Her hips still ached; they had done so yesterday, too. It felt like the muscles and sinews there had been worn to thin ribbons.

Her chest started to ache as she tried to shift her position; her breasts were heavy and sore. The clasp of her wireless bra dug into her back, the elastic uncomfortably tight and the skin underneath itchy.

She hadn't meant to fall asleep with it on. She never meant to fall asleep with it on. But to take it off it required her to first take off her shirt, or shirts, and then put them back on again, and that was just... too much effort sometimes.

She looked at her phone. It was 3:36 AM. No messages from Yellow. Another sigh left her.

What day was it? Wednesday? No, Tuesday. She consulted her phone again. It was Friday, technically.

She needed to pee, but she didn't want to move. It would hurt to get up. The floor would be cold. The toilet would be cold. And she would see how messy the rest of their apartment was.

They had converted the second bedroom into a studio for her, when they first got the place. In the beginning, she had painted avidly, losing herself for days in shades of violet, burnt umber and sunburst yellow. Every canvas a new world, rich in detail and so very popular among the art elite. But now... The canvases remained blank. The old paint caked on her wooden palette had started to flake under the dust. The newspaper on the floor was turning yellow and brittle.

It had been a rough year. First, her mother had passed away. That in itself hadn't been a great loss, they had never been close, but... Soon her aunt followed, and they _had _been close. And then, her uncle, and, tragically her youngest cousin. Then Yellow had been in a car accident and had suffered a broken arm and a nasty concussion.

She had dropped the glass of wine she had been holding, thinking for a moment that Yellow was gone too, before the doctor on the phone told her that Yellow was going to be fine. The days became full of complicated paperwork and wills, and funerals and memorials and benefits and gallery openings and devotions and donations and everyone just wanted her to keep making art and selling it and _be there _and know every little intrigue and rumor and - and... It had all just become too much.

It began with her taking a week off, then two. Then a month. Then three.

Time just seemed to slip away. How long had it been?

She both wanted every day to last a lifetime, and for them to be over in a second. She wanted to be alone, away from all the prying eyes and concern and... _pity_. And yet...

Weren't artists supposed to thrive on pain? Wasn't that when you were supposed to produce your greatest works of art?

And Yellow... She traveled so much. She barely had time to spend an evening at home. Sometimes it felt like she didn't _want _to spend time together, always busy on her phone, the damn thing ringing every hour of the day and night. When was the last time they had had a meal together? When was the last time they had been intimate?

The lack of sex in their relationship worried her. She hoped Yellow wasn't playing around, but she wouldn't blame her if she was. It had been _months_...

Their talks of children had been put on hold. Not that they had had a conversation about it, they had just... stopped talking about it.

A baby. She could picture the two of them together, helping their daughter (they both wanted a girl) learn to tie her shoes. To ride a bike. To drive a car. Going off to school. Telling them they were going to become grandmothers... It hurt to think of that now. And it hurt to think of Yellow, trapped in this marriage. She would be better off -

The pressure in her abdomen rose to alarming levels, interrupting her spiraling thoughts. She groaned, then reluctantly emerged from under the thick duvet. She started to shiver immediately. With shuffling, awkward little steps, she managed to reach the bathroom. When she stood to flush the toilet, she saw a trail of red in the bowl. Already? She closed her suddenly stinging eyes. She did not have the _energy _to deal with _this _as well. She sat back down, inserted a tampon with a shaking hand, washed up, then went to lie down again, all the while feeling as if she was about to cry. She felt so wretched, she just wanted to _sleep_. She was so tired...

Her head felt heavy as she lay down again. Her body too. Like stone. Like lead. For a moment she wished she could just turn into stone; then an image of Yellow coming home to find her dead ripped across her mind, and she began to sob, quietly, into her pillows. She didn't want to die. But she didn't want this! Not this life of constant, endless sorrow, echoing dark thoughts, and pressure to be something that she was incapable of being, and to do things she was incapable of doing. She felt so inadequate as an artist, as a wife, as a daughter and a niece and cousin. She felt powerless and so vulnerable; like she had no skin, and somehow also that she was made of glass. She was worthless and barren and cold and Yellow would leave her for some young, fit new flavor of the week and she wouldn't even _care_ if - her head began to spin, and she lost herself in a whirlpool of darkness. She cried herself back to sleep.

She awoke a few hours later, this time roused from fitful slumber by a cold fist wrapping around her uterus and twisting it until it nearly popped. She dragged in a shocked breath, then panted, gripping the closest pillow with white knuckles. Her face was locked in a grimace until the pain suddenly dropped. Once it did, she drew in deep, frightened gasps of air, blinking away pain tears, and feeling absolutely overwhelmed. Her back, chest and hips were still sore and adding their own melodies to the chaotic symphony of pain. But at least, for the time being, they had to take a backseat, which was a relief, and then again not.

_I deserve this_, Blue thought as she was able to relax somewhat._ I'm a terrible person and I deserve this... I'm being punished... _The thoughts brought her to tears again, but she tried not to sob. She never knew what would set off another cramp. Carefully, she pulled Yellow's duvet over her as well, and surrounded herself with all their combined pillows. She was trying to fight off the cold, hard, relentless pain by surrounding herself with softness and warmth. Even in the midst of her cocoon, it found her. It never left her. She tried to find a position to lie in that alleviated some of it, but comfort escaped her. As it always did.

It hadn't been this bad a month ago. It hadn't been this bad even two weeks ago. But now...

Her thoughts swirled from past disappointments and disasters, to mistakes and to fuck ups, to staggeringly embarrassing moments. Uncomfortable memories surfaced, like toads from the mud.

_Remember how mom never really smiled at you?_ The voice in her mind whispered softly. It sounded much like her mother. _You were never good enough. Smart enough. Thine enough. Dedicated enough. Never... enough._

_That time when your male teacher stared at your chest the entire time you tried to tell him you were having difficulties with French grammar? And you told no one. Your boobs were too big. Now they're too big, as well as saggy._

_You stole money from your mother's purse to buy cigarettes, then you vomited all over Gloria Havenshield's new shoes. _The laughter echoed in her mind. _And you came home, sick and humiliated, to be confronted with your angry mom, who grounded you for a month for stealing, and one more for smoking._

Darker thoughts swirled up, memories from times that were dangerous and frightening, still, years and years later. She tried to close her mind to them, but that just made the voice duplicate and rise to a shrill, grating choir. She covered her ears uselessly, and cried herself to sleep once more, the worst experiences in her life swirling nauseatingly in her mind.

When she next awoke, the sky outside had gone dark. For a blissful moment, she felt relief at the passing of another day, then the pain in her back, pelvis and tummy rasped its way into her consciousness. She groaned into her pillows, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep, and just not feel anything at all.

Hunger drove her out of bed. She found some crackers in a cupboard. They were stale. It didn't matter. After three or four, a sour kind of stomach ache lifted. She went to change her tampon, then went back to bed. At least it was warm in her blanket nest.

Yellow sat back in her plane seat and tried to relax. She hated flying. She hated how, even in the first class seats, you always ended up looking rumpled. It was not a good look. And the thought of breathing the same air with people for hours on end, the plane filling up with the various odors of humanity, the flimsy things at the back of the chairs, when did they ever change them? Her thoughts scattered. She needed coffee.

Finally off the plane, she picked up her meticulously packed luggage and strode out into the relatively fresh air. She was home! It had been too long since she'd seen her wife face to face. Her last trip had been extended from two weeks to four. Her heart sank at the thought of Blue, of having to be away from her. Yellow knew Blue wasn't doing well. She worried a lot, and she had lost so many important people in the last year. The grief had taken a lot out of Blue. And it... weighed on Yellow's mind. She had never been very good at the whole feelings part. When people thought of Yellow Diamond, they didn't exactly think 'nurturing'. 'Intimidating' maybe. Or, more likely; 'bitch'. But with Blue she somehow had access to more within herself. She could be... vulnerable with Blue. She was _allowed_ to be vulnerable with Blue. Everywhere else, she was Yellow Diamond, Vice President.

She wanted to surprise Blue, that's why she hadn't told her she was coming home. She checked the inside pocket of her suit jacket. The little velvet box was still safely in there. She had seen the necklace in a store in Tokyo and just knew Blue would love it. Ten percent of Yellow's luggage were souvenirs from all over Japan. Those cheap little silly things Yellow didn't care for at all, but that Blue loved for some reason. Tiny porcelain trinkets, kitchy plastic things, snow globes with city names on them.

She had kept the best parts of the many gift baskets she had received over the last month. There was some nice wine, several Apple products, and some delicacies she thought they might have fun trying together. Oh, and a finely balanced ceramic kitchen knife Yellow couldn't wait to try.

Work had kept her terribly busy lately, but now the last large project had been finished, and Yellow had taken some time off to go home. She hoped the surprise would lift Blue's spirits, and maybe they could go out and have a nice dinner, catch a show, then go home and spend some time wrapped in passionate love making.

Yellow smiled at the memories of Blue panting and begging in her ear, how her voice rose and fell and whined so beautifully in the fits of climax. A pleasant tightening went through her core at the memory of caressing Blue's breasts. The softness. The firmness. A tactile delight.

She took a cab into town and swung by a flower shop before stopping at the cafe they liked to have brunch at on Sundays. Perhaps they had that lovely cheesecake in today? That would be an extra treat. And she could use the bathroom. The airplane fare was not agreeing with her digestive system.

She crammed herself into the stall with all her things and covered the toilet seat with a seat cover before sitting down. As she waited for her body to do its thing, she brought out her phone, out of habit. Once it was out of airplane mode, she received notifications that she had fifteen new emails, six text messages and five missed calls. She narrowed her eyes at the screen. She had informed everyone that she wasn't to be disturbed. The nerve of some people. When she put her phone away again, she noticed a darker stain in her black underwear. Oh, no. She wiped herself to confirm her fears, then sighed. Of course, it wasn't indigestion, it was cramps. Not bad ones, but she didn't have a tampon on her. There was a machine in the bathroom, she remembered. She pulled up her pants and went to find out if it was stocked. And it wasn't. It was an old thing, maybe it was just there for show. She tapped the top of the metal container in a controlled way, sighing deeply in frustration. She didn't exactly have a heavy flow, but this was an Escada suit! As she was thinking of what to do, a woman and her young daughter came into the bathroom. The girl hurried into a stall and the mother stood protectively in front of the door.

Yellow hitched on a smile, and clasped her hands in front of her chest; trying to not look intimidating.

"Excuse me, do you have a tampon to spare?" she asked politely.

"Oh, I think so," the woman gave Yellow a sympathetic look, then started to rummage in her handbag. "Here." She handed Yellow a little package.

"Thank you." Yellow said sincerely. The woman just smiled and waved her hands.

Once Yellow was done, she went to pick up the cheesecake, and asked if the woman by the window (she was sitting there with her daughter and what she assumed to be her husband) had settled their bill yet. When the waitress answered no, Yellow asked if fifty dollars would cover it. The waitress consulted the till, and said that it would, with plenty left over.

"Keep the change, then," Yellow said, and made her way outside with all her things.

Their apartment was just two blocks away, so she walked the short distance with her head held high. The kindness of the woman warmed her from the inside out, and the good feeling was intensified by her own returning gesture. Would it be bragging to tell Blue about it? A flicker of excitement stirred in her, and she lengthened her stride.

"Welcome back, Miss Diamond!" Stuart the door man greeted cheerily. Even though they were married, they both preferred to be called Miss rather than Mrs. For Yellow it was an efficiency thing, and for Blue it made her feel old. "Do you need help with your bags? How was your trip?"

"Hello, Stuart. No, I'm fine, and the trip was fine. Do you know if Blue is home? I want to surprise her."

Stuart's friendly grin widened. "I see, I see. Haven't seen her go in or out today, Miss Diamond."

"Thank you," she fired off a genuine smile, and Stuart hurried to open the door for her. As Yellow bundled all her things inside, Stuart beamed; it was rare to see Miss Diamond so upbeat. It made his good day a great one.

In the elevator, Yellow tried to straighten her clothes. She reapplied her lipstick and wiped away a stray eyelash. Everything tucked in? Yes. Alright. She put the key in the lock, and turned it.

Stale, lived in air and a dark hallway greeted her; her jaunty 'Honey I'm home!' died in her throat. She turned on the light and took off her shoes.

"Blue?" she called. No answer. Worry gripped her. Was she out? She looked around the apartment. It wasn't tidy exactly, but it wasn't messy. The couch in the lounge looked like someone had slept on it and then not fluffed up the cushions afterward. A few flowers were wilting. Even the lovely pink orchid Yellow had brought home last year, that Blue had tended so carefully. She took a peek in the kitchen. Dishes in the sink, but not that many. That wasn't like Blue though. She liked a clean kitchen. Crumbs crunched under her stockinged feet. Her worry mounted. She decided to have a change of clothes, and then she could clean up. She was tired, but she'd had a little sleep on the plane, and the coffee was kicking in. If Blue was out running errands, it would be a double surprise to find Yellow home, and that she had cleaned as well. Yes, a plan, good. She wiped off her foot and put the crumbs in the sink, then headed into their bedroom. The bed was a mess. It smelled so much like Blue in there though, she had to take a moment to stop and just breathe. Then her eye caught on something on the bed; a phone. Blue's phone.

"Blue?" she said in surprise. Was she sleeping under that pile of blankets? She did like to burrow sometimes. Yellow smiled to herself and shook her head slightly, remembering all the times she'd had to shake Blue awake. That woman could _sleep_. She took off her jacket and quickly checked her breath, then crept onto the bed and began to unravel the tangle of blankets. "Blu-ue?" she sang playfully. Deep within the nest, Yellow found her sleeping wife. Her... noticeably _thinner _wife. Her eyes were closed, but looked puffy; like she had been crying. Her hair looked as if it hadn't been either washed or brushed in days. The worry rose in Yellow's chest, and guilt churned in her gut. Should she let her sleep? Did she need sleep? Was she sick? Why hadn't she called ahead - stupid, _stupid_! She let her mind panic a few more seconds, then she pushed it all to the side. With a gentle hand, she stroked Blue's arm.

Blue's eyelids flickered, and she stirred, then an expression of pain took over her features, and she curled into a ball under the covers, whimpering. Yellow leaned back in alarm. Maybe she had touched a bruise?

"Blue?" Yellow said uncertainly. "It's me. I'm - "

With a quick inhalation, Blue turned to her, her eyes wide, then she reached out for Yellow, her eyes filling with tears.

"You're _home_..." Blue whimpered.

"I'm home!" Yellow breathed, relieved to hear her wife's soft voice. They embraced; long and hard. Blue smelled of sweat, and like she had worn the same clothes for a week, but underneath that was the scent of her skin. Yellow drew in long breaths as she cradled Blue to her. It was such sweet relief to hold her again, even if there was a bit less of her now. Blue began to shake slightly, and at first Yellow thought she was laughing, but then she realized she was crying. She knew from experience that when Blue cried, it was best to let her cry it out, and _then_ ask what was wrong. Instead she tried to reassure and comfort with her body; she stroked Blue's back and hair, and softened her touch when Blue winced. The questions burned in Yellow's mind, but she knew she had to be patient.

Blue was so surprised and relieved to see Yellow's smiling face that she found the strength to hug her from somewhere. It hurt, oh, it hurt to do so, but she let it hurt; it was worth it to embrace her wife. She quickly got overwhelmed with emotion; all the things she wanted to say; apologize for the state of the apartment, and herself, and why hadn't she called and how long was she staying and - the tears rolled down her cheeks steadily, and sweet Yellow stroked her hair and back a little too hard, ouch! But then her touch lightened, and it became a soothing caress. Blue clung to Yellow's fit body, so strong and beautiful and _warm_. She was home... Nothing else mattered for a blessed few moments.

After an agonizingly long wait, Blue kissed Yellow's neck; the unofficial signal that Blue was able, if not quite ready, to talk now.

"I should have called, my love. But I wanted to surprise you. I'm sorry." Yellow said quickly, gently kissing her wife's neck in return.

"You should have called, but I forgive you." Blue said, her voice hoarse, but still melodic to Yellow's ears. "I'm sorry everything is such a mess, darling..."

"How... are you?" Yellow asked tentatively.

For a moment, Blue stiffened. Yellow held her breath.

What should she say? Everything hurts and all I want to do is sleep so I don't have to feel how pointless everything is? She didn't want Yellow to worry about her, now that she was finally home.

"I'm fine," Blue said in a tiny, brittle voice. Like she didn't even believe it herself.

Yellow didn't believe her either, but she didn't want to cause a fight now that she was finally home.

"Okay," Yellow said, her heart sinking a little. She wished Blue would tell her what was wrong, so she could help. "I've missed you so much..."

"I've missed you too!" Blue squeezed her tightly, then let out a little sound of pain.

"What's wrong?" Yellow asked before she could stop herself. She bit the inside of her lip to keep from speaking further.

"I - " Blue faltered. But she did have a convenient excuse, didn't she? She felt a stab of guilt for using it though. "I got my period earlier."

"Oh!" Yellow said with a breath of relief. "Me too!"

"Really?" Blue asked in surprise. Yellow nodded against her neck, kissing it twice.

That would explain a few things, Yellow thought with relief. Not all, certainly, she was still worried, but maybe today was just an extra bad first day? She knew her wife's PMS wore her down a lot. That could explain the kitchen, and the flowers, if she hadn't had the energy to keep up with her normal routines. It wasn't unusual for Blue to be bed bound on the first day either.

"I should go have a shower; I must smell a hundred different _kinds _of awful," Yellow said, suddenly self conscious. She tried to pull away from their embrace, but Blue didn't let go.

"You don't..." she whispered softly. She rubbed her cheek against Yellow's neck, then leaned against her with a sigh. Yellow's heart swelled at Blue's words, and at Blue's reluctance to let her go.

"How about you join me for the shower?" Yellow suggested carefully.

Blue considered the question. If she knew Yellow, and she did, this shared shower offer could lead to sex. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go that far, but just standing and being naked together would feel so _good_. She didn't want to let go of either the warmth, or the comfort that she gave her.

How long had it been since she showered? She didn't remember. She must not smell very good. And Yellow was still hugging her... It brought tears to her eyes, and she nodded into Yellow's neck, sniffling.

Yellow had reached the bedroom door when she heard Blue hiss from behind her; she was still getting up from the bed. It looked painful. Yellow hurried over and held out her hand in a silent offer of help. Blue took it and managed to get to her feet. They walked to the bathroom slowly. Blue tried not to wince and hiss, but it was agony to move, even with Yellow's support. Her hips felt like they were going to slip out of her pelvis at any moment, and the dull, grinding cramp in her belly (along with being deprived of the warmth of the duvet) was making her shiver.

Yellow felt a mounting fear. This was far more serious than just a bad first day of Blue's period. This was... something else.

When they reached the bathroom, Yellow quickly undressed, then turned to help Blue, who was trying to keep from whimpering aloud while she did the same. The delicate little noises she made Yellow's heart sting with shame.

"Let me..." Yellow said softly, then took over the task of raising both Blue's shirts above her head.

Feeling embarrassed, Blue reached behind her to unclasp her very unsexy bra, but Yellow's deft and gentle hand had it open in a flash. Blue's pyjama bottoms fell to the floor once she untied the string at the waist, and Yellow helped her step out of her granny panties. They did this in silence. Blue kept her eyes averted from her own body, while Yellow tried to surreptitiously check her for bruises or any other evidence of injury. What she saw was her wife's body; soft curves with slightly different angles than she remembered. Had she been sick? She was standing like it was painful to remain upright, not just to walk. A sting of sadness and increased worry made Yellow bite the inside of her lip again. When she got back to her feet, she took a breath, then asked;

"Do you want me to get you a chair?"

Acutely embarrassed now, Blue shook her head. They stepped into the big shower stall, and Blue turned on the water.

The look of relief on Blue's face as the warm, clear water began to pour over her, lifted Yellow's heart from her stomach.

Blue felt some of the pain vanish as the heat embraced her, and she panted with relief, steadying herself against the wall with one hand. The other found its way first to her lower back, then to her hip, then to her tender tummy.

Yellow watched in silence, taking mental notes, but didn't say anything. Blue reached out to adjust the temperature, making it warmer still. Usually, Yellow (who liked her showers just slightly above body temperature) would ask her to keep it within their agreed upon range, but she could put up with a little extra heat today. She felt her own mild cramps ease off, then stepped up behind Blue and gently wrapped her arms around her. Blue sighed and rested her head on Yellow's shoulder, grateful for the support and affection. Yellow's hands moved to Blue's soft belly, taking over the massage Blue was administering to herself. Yellow drew a gentle heart shape over Blue's abdomen, again and again, and was rewarded each time with more weight added onto her shoulder and chest, or a little sound of released pain. With every tiny noise, Yellow's heart swelled, renewed. She braced herself with one foot against the back wall, letting Blue lean on her further. She would gladly hold her in her arms, but then she wouldn't be able to rub her tummy. She focused on her task, trying to rub away both Blue's pain, and her own guilt for being gone too long and being too busy to really ask how her beloved wife was actually doing. She promised she would take that job at the regional office in the city she had been offered a few weeks ago, so she could be home. It would mean much less travelling, but hadn't she seen enough similar looking hotel rooms? Hadn't she eaten enough identical breakfast buffets by herself? She had been so _selfish_...

Blue felt more pain leave her with every stroke of Yellow's gentle hands. She knew she was putting too much weight on her wife, but she couldn't help it; it felt too good. She should have taken Yellow's offer of getting a chair to sit on, she had realized about one hundredth of a second after she had declined. The ache in her hips and back had lessened considerably, and the security of Yellow standing behind her made parts of her she hadn't realized were tense, relax. Soon she was putty in Yellow's embrace, and it felt so _right_. She should have asked her to come home... She should never had doubted her devotion to her... She felt something she hadn't felt in months; desire. She wished the cramps would vanish completely, but knew that they wouldn't. But having an orgasm might make them more manageable... She arched her back ever so slightly.

Yellow heard the change in Blue's breath, and felt her lovely bum press gently against her hips. Blue's hand slid over her own and guided it further down. Yellow drew in a breath and tried to curb her excitement at the feel of Blue's soft mound and pubic hair under her fingers. It had been so long since she had been invited to touch her wife there, she felt tears prickle the corners of her eyes and burn the inside of her nose. Carefully, she caressed Blue's mons with the same speed she was rubbing her tummy. Blue's hand joined her, following Yellow's lead in the heart shaped massage. Yellow leaned her head against Blue's and let her feel the emotion in her breaths. She spent a few wonderful moments just stroking Blue's mound, like she was petting it; just like she always did when she was feeling especially good. Then her fingers quested further down, cupping Blue's sex and gently massaging her outer lips. Yellow loved the feeling of Blue's outer lips sliding against the inner ones like they were now; lubricated to dripping perfection. She wanted to dive down and bury her face between those soft thighs, but she knew Blue needed her standing right now. Instead, Yellow parted those plump lips to dip into the well of Blue's desire. Both of them drew in a quick breath as Yellow's fingers went where they hadn't been for so long. It felt strangely like it was their first time together, and the excitement of that memory made Yellow's scalp and spine tingle with anticipation. Moving carefully, she navigated the slick folds, caressing in between them, making sure that every nook and cranny was lubricated. She loved to tease Blue like that, and was rewarded by a lustful moan and a little shiver as her fingers neared the top of Blue's cleft. Yellow wished she could see Blue's large clitoris engorge before her eyes, but contented herself with the memories of it. Slowly, she massaged around Blue's clitoris, feeling it become bigger and harder. She loved that Blue was so big; it felt so good to touch her with fingers and with tongue and lips. Yellow pinched the erect clitoris between the insides of her index and middle fingers; Blue gasped and arched her back. Yellow smiled, then began to move those fingers down, in between her inner lips, keeping the clit snugly squeezed between them.

Blue moaned, her mind dizzy with lust. Yellow knew just how to touch her, and it meant so much, and it felt doubly good because of it. The slow and teasing caress was just right, and soon Blue was teetering on the edge. Oh, how she loved it there, on the precipice; her breaths shallow, her nipples erect, her pleasure completely in the control of her partner.

Yellow felt Blue's breathing quicken, and knew she was close. The moans coming from her were maddening, and Yellow felt her own desire run down her thighs in a steady stream. She kept her movements slow and deliberate, knowing Blue liked that far better than a rapid pace, unless she asked for it specifically. When Blue's breaths became suddenly deeper and her moans longer, Yellow trembled with the effort of keeping the pace down. She could feel Blue's pulse beat against her fingers and palm -

The pleasure peaked and Blue gasped. Her clit was a shining pinpoint of light, and every stroke of Yellow's fingers pumped another wave of electricity through her pelvis. After a few seconds she regained her voice, and let her beloved wife hear her climax -

Blue's voice reached a magnificent and sudden crescendo, and the sound soothed Yellow's soul like the most exquisite of balms. Her spine tingled, her heart beat hard in her chest, and she experienced a powerful swell of emotion. She kept the same pace, although her hand was shaking now, until Blue's breathing calmed and she felt her clit shrink back to its usual size. Yellow went back to stroking Blue's mound, dotting her forehead with slightly awkwardly angled kisses. Gradually, Blue's weight was lifted from her shoulder and chest, and Yellow stood up straighter, both relieved and dismayed at it disappearing.

Blue found her feet after the intense pleasure, and turned around to look at her rosy cheeked wife. Without a word, she embraced her, and kissed her deeply, hungrily. Yellow took a surprised step back, then rallied and ran her hands through Blue's long hair. The endorphins muted the pain in Blue's body, and she was determined to use every ounce of the energy it gave her. She put one hand in between their naked bodies and tugged gently at Yellows pubes before sinking down to her knees.

Yellow panted, surprised at this sudden shift in Blue's behavior, but oh, so very pleased. She looked down to see Blue's upturned face, then had to close her eyes as Blue's wonderful tongue connected with her skin. Her back arched and she spread her legs to accommodate Blue's questing hands, and felt one thumb push gently against her opening before sliding in between her butt cheeks, toward her _other _opening. Blue's tongue and lips sucked and licked at Yellow's clitoris, making her tense up and groan at the pleasure. Then, Blue's thumb pressed against, but didn't enter, Yellow's sensitive anus, and Yellow's enjoyment went from about a nine, to an eleven. Blue's other hand grabbed the back of Yellow's left knee, finding the spot that turned the eleven into a twenty seven. Yellow's hips jerked, and she had to grab the wall with one hand, and Blue's head with the other, as she rode a sudden spike of pleasure all the way back to the first time they had discovered this three point combo together. The wonderful memory intensified the pleasure, granting her a second peak, and then a third in rapid succession. Blue didn't stop until Yellow began sliding down against the wall, a long moan escaping her. They ended up face to face, both out of breath, and to both their pleasure; smiling. They kissed, and Yellow savored the taste of her own juices on Blue's tongue.

Blue's mind was blissfully void of dark thoughts, but the pain started to creep back into her body. Including new pain; in her knees. She shifted her position to sit on her behind instead, and Yellow bent down to kiss her knees.

"I love you, Blue," Yellow said between kisses.

"I love you too, darling," Blue said back, stroking Yellow's still heaving tummy before scooting in to sit between her legs. Yellow embraced her from behind and kissed her shoulder before resting her head against it. Blue leaned her own head against Yellow's and tried to remain in the wonderful afterglow as long as possible. "I'm so happy you're home."

Yellow had had time to forget how worried she had been about Blue, but was instantly reminded when they got out of the shower about twenty minutes later. Blue sat down on the closed toilet lid to dry herself off, something she had never done before.

"I'll get us some fresh clothes," Yellow said in a soft voice. Blue nodded wordlessly.

When Yellow left the bathroom, Blue allowed herself to hunch over and let the barely held back grimace twist her face. She didn't regret having the shower, the pain coming back was the same as before. There was just such a big difference from not being in pain, that it coming back full force so quickly left her nauseated and somehow shocked.

Yellow had glanced over her shoulder, and had caught Blue's expression. They _had_ to talk about this. But first; fresh clothes, fresh sheets on the bed, some air and some food. Yellow was hungry, and the thought of the cheesecake waiting in the fridge made her mouth water. She threw on some yoga pants and a tank top, and brought a clean pair of pajamas for Blue, and a soft cardigan, because she seemed to be cold.

While Yellow was busy, Blue took the opportunity to change her tampon. Doing that told her she would need a pad as well.

"Panties?" Blue asked a minute later, looking through the little pile of clothes.

"Panties?" Yellow felt confused.

"Would you mind...?" Blue hoped she didn't need to explain further.

"Right, sorry." Yellow shook her head, then went back to the bedroom to fetch some. Out of habit, she reached for the left side of Blue's drawer, where the elegant pairs lay neatly folded, but stopped. Blue wouldn't want to potentially ruin a nice pair like that. Instead, she picked some from the right side; equally neatly folded, but worn and faded from countless encounters with the tumble dryer.

Yellow returned with the underwear, and left Blue to get dressed on Blue's insistence. She fretted a moment, then decided to change the sheets. When she was done, she found Blue on the couch, fluffing up a pillow and then laying down with a weary sigh.

"When did you last take painkillers?" Yellow asked.

"I haven't," Blue replied faintly.

Without asking why, Yellow went to the kitchen and rummaged in the medicine cabinet. On the shelf underneath lay their heating pads and hot water bottles, unused. Yellow popped a heating pad in the microwave, poured a glass of water, then brought it all to her wife.

Blue's eyes teared up when Yellow approached, and squeaked out a weak 'Thank you', before bursting into tears.

Yellow put the things down quickly and sat down by Blue's head, on the floor.

"Blue, tell me what's _wrong_..." she said, trying not to beg, and forgetting to let Blue cry it out.

"I feel _awful_..." Blue croaked, her brittle voice ringing with truth. "All the time. I just want to sleep... But everything hurts."

"Your back? And hips?"

Blue drew in a sharp breath. Yellow had sharp eyes.

"Today. Tomorrow it might be somewhere else..."

That... didn't sound good, Yellow thought. Her mind jumped to cancer, ALS, Huntington's.

"We are getting you a doctor's appointment as soon as possible."

"I don't want... you to worry." Blue tried. "I'm f - "

"My love, I _am _worried. Let me worry," Yellow interrupted her. "I'm sorry I've been away. I'm going to stay home now. We're going to sort this out, okay?"

"Okay..." Blue let out a breath, and felt surprisingly relieved. Yellow held out the painkillers, and the glass of water, and Blue took them when Yellow gave her a _look_. She also accepted the heating pad, and curled around the wonderful heat, even if she didn't think she deserved it. She didn't deserve Yellow being so kind. She didn't deserve _Yellow_...

"I'm starving; have you had dinner? I've brought dessert. Cheesecake, from Wilson's."

Blue shook her head, a new wave of tears taking her ability to speak. She certainly didn't deserve such a wonderful treat.

Yellow looked at her wife, not knowing what to do or say for a moment, then she began to stroke Blue's hair, and the back of her hand. This made Blue cry harder, and Yellow felt her gut tighten into a dark little ball of worry. Had having sex made things worse?

Blue's mind swirled with horrible things; memories, worries and disastrous scenarios. All the while, she could feel Yellow's warm hands, anchoring her to the present. Slowly, the wave of anxiety and confused grief settled, and a unsteady calm took over. Yellow was sitting closer now, her brow full of worry lines. Blue felt so tired.

"D-did you say cheesecake?" she managed to say, shakily. Yellow looked up, and the smile on her face hurt Blue terribly; Yellow looked so relieved, but Blue knew it was just temporary.

"Yes, I'll get some. Do you want tea?"

Blue nodded, and Yellow got to her feet quickly, trying to ignore her left foot, which had fallen asleep. When she strode off, Blue closed her eyes, telling herself she would just rest them while Yellow was in the kitchen, and then they would eat cheesecake together, and Blue would ask about her work and... and...

When Yellow returned with two steaming cups of tea, she found Blue fast asleep on the couch. Her heart sank lower than it had earlier, ending up deep in her gut. She stood frozen for a full minute, trying to think of what to do. She didn't feel hungry anymore; all she felt was worry. Eventually, she went back to the kitchen and poured out the tea in the sink.

"Come on, Yellow," she said to herself. "Wife - sick, solution - doctor. Right."

Before she did anything else, Yellow fetched a duvet from their bedroom and carefully draped it over Blue's sleeping form.

"I'm going to do everything I can to get you through this," she whispered. "Get _us _through this. I promise."

Armed with a cup of coffee, her reading glasses, her laptop and her phone, Yellow set to work. She browsed her contacts, and her contact's contacts, looked up names, reviews, resisted the urge to google Blue's symptoms, wrote emails, text messages and made a few calls. After a few hours hard work she had found a well recommended doctor and had negotiated (read _bullied_) her way to an appointment this morning. A cab would be waiting downstairs in two hours to take them there. Things were going to be fine. Yes.

After spending almost an hour cleaning as quietly as she could, she went to wake Blue. She hadn't had anything to eat since Yellow had come home, some fourteen hours ago now. Surely she must be hungry. Yellow had saved most of the cheesecake, and satiated her own hunger with some more oatmeal and dried fruit. The kitchen had been depressingly empty.

It took a long time to wake Blue up, and longer to get her ready to go; she didn't _want _to go, she just wanted to go back to sleep. Yellow had to insist she ate something, and she agreed to a cup of tea, but no more. The worry ate at Yellow's stomach, like the hunger must surely eat at Blue's.

Once they arrived at the doctor's office, Blue was in no mood to be around Yellow, and she was sent outside to wait like some naughty child. Yellow fretted and paced, and made a few calls. Their building had a stand by cleaning service, they were taking care of things, good, check, groceries were on their way, fantastic, check. Her colleague got back to her, recommending a psychiatrist, who was also highly recommended online. Yellow set up an appointment for the following day.

The next few weeks were littered with appointments, blood tests and different kinds of medication. Blue was diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder on day one, and started on antidepressants that same day. Then, after even an MRI scan couldn't find anything physically wrong with Blue, the doctors concluded the constantly moving pain to be fibromyalgia. It wasn't what either Blue or Yellow wanted to hear.

Blue started to see a psychiatrist regularly, and slowly she started to feel more stable. The fact that Yellow now only rarely had to go on work trips, and then just overnight, proved to be a very important component in Blue's recovery.

They found ways to deal with Blue's pain, most of the time. There were still days she struggled to stand, or even hold a conversation, but it didn't happen as frequently. When they did, Yellow spent the day, or night, by her side. She had promised to do everything she could for Blue, for both of them, and she didn't let the bad days break her resolve.

After a few months, Blue started to paint again. Just for herself. When Yellow came home to see her wife clad in her old painting clothes, she had to go hide in the bathroom to cry for a bit, but they were tears of relief.

Things were going to be alright.

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